Creating Abundance of Love in Your Life

"The love you feel in life is a reflection of the love you feel in yourself."

– Deepak Chopra

This quote resonated with me as soon as I read it. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Also, the more I think about it, the more I realize that the love we feel inside of us begins with the love we feel for ourselves.  It is impossible to feel more love towards others than we feel for ourselves.  It is also impossible to feel more love from others towards us than the love we feel for ourselves already, whether we realize it or not. This brings to mind the famous quote "love your neighbor as yourself."  To me, this means that the amount of love we feel for ourselves is exactly the amount of love that we can have towards our neighbor.

A few months ago I read a book by Don Miguel Ruiz titled “The Mastery of Love”, and this quote reminded me of a metaphor in the book, so I looked up the excerpt. This is on Chapter 6 of the book:

THE MAGICAL KITCHEN
“Imagine that you have a magical kitchen in your home. In that magical kitchen, you can have any food you want from any place in the world in any quantity. You never worry about what to eat; whatever you wish for, you can have at your table. You are very generous with your food; you give your food unconditionally to others, not because you want something in return from them. Whoever comes to your home, you feed just for the pleasure of sharing your food, and your house is always full of people who come to eat the food from your magical kitchen.

Then one day someone knocks at your door, and it’s a person with a pizza. You open the door, and the person looks at you and says, “Hey, do you see this pizza? I’ll give you this pizza if you let me control your life, if you just do whatever I want you to do. You are never going to starve because I can bring pizza every day. You just have to be good to me.”

Can you imagine your reaction? In your kitchen you can have the same pizza — even better. Yet this person comes to you and offers you food, if you just do whatever he wants you to do. You are going to laugh and say, “No, thank you! I don’t need your food; I have plenty of food. You can come into my house and eat whatever you want, and you don’t have to do anything. Don’t believe I’m going to do whatever you want me to do. No one will manipulate me with food.”

Now imagine exactly the opposite. Several weeks have gone by, and you haven’t eaten. You are starving, and you have no money in your pocket to buy food. The person comes with the pizza and says, “Hey, there’s food here. You can have this food if you just do what I want you to do.” You can smell the food, and you are starving. You decide to accept the food and do whatever that person asks of you. You eat some food, and he says, “If you want more, you can have more, but you have to keep doing what I want you to do.”

You have food today, but tomorrow you may not have food, so you agree to do whatever you can for food. You can become a slave because of food, because you need food, because you don’t have it. Then after a certain time you have doubts. You say, “What am I going to do without my pizza? I cannot live without my pizza. What if my partner decides to give the pizza to someone else — my pizza?”

Now imagine that instead of food, we are talking about love. You have an abundance of love in your heart. You have love not just for yourself, but for the whole world. You love so much that you don’t need anyone’s love. You share your love without condition; you don’t love if. You are a millionaire in love, and someone knocks on your door and says, “Hey, I have love for you here. You can have my love, if you just do whatever I want you to do.”

When you are full of love, what is going to be your reaction? You will laugh and say, “Thank you, but I don’t need your love. I have the same love here in my heart, even bigger and better, and I share my love without condition.”

But what is going to happen if you are starving for love, if you don’t have that love in your heart, and someone comes and says, “You want a little love? You can have my love if you just do what I want you to do.” If you are starving for love, and you taste that love, you are going to do whatever you can for that love. You can even be so needy that you give your whole soul just for a little attention.

Your heart is like that magical kitchen. If you open your heart, you already have all the love you need. There’s no need to go around the world begging for love: “Please, someone love me. I’m so lonely, I’m not good enough for love; I need someone to love me, to prove that I’m worthy of love.” We have love right here inside us, but we don’t see this love.

What makes you happy is love coming out of you. And if you are generous with your love, everyone is going to love you. You are never going to be alone if you are generous. If you are selfish, you are always going to be alone, and there is no one to blame but you. Your generosity will open all the doors, not your selfishness. Selfishness comes from poverty in the heart, from the belief that love is not abundant. We become selfish when we believe that maybe tomorrow we won’t have any pizza. But when we know that our heart is a magical kitchen, we are always generous, and our love is completely unconditional.”

True love is unconditional. If love has conditions, then it isn’t true love. This also applies to our self-love. This means that we love ourselves regardless of whatever mistakes we have made in the past. This means we forgive ourselves, because that is the only way to have the ability to forgive others.

 I am not saying to go out and do things that harm others and then justify our actions. I believe that if the more we love ourselves , the more in touch we become with the Universe.  The more in touch we become with the Universe, the easier it is to arrive to the realization that hurting anyone else is the same as hurting ourselves because we are all inter-connected.

A token of self-love and of love for others is lack of criticism and judgment. Where judgment exists, love dissipates. So let’s work on stopping that gossip, judgment, and negative self-talk and accept ourselves and others the way we are. Only then can we feel true love inside us and manifest it in every aspect of our lives. Let’s let our hearts be the Magical Kitchen and have abundance of love J

Your Dreams Can Come True – Use Creative Visualization To Make Them Happen

“Success is within reach, if you believe that success is already yours. What you imagine is the seed of what you will experience.”

                                                                            -      Remez Sasson

Last week I touched on the power of Affirmations. This week I am taking it a step further and discussing Creative Visualization.

Creative Visualization comes from the premise that our thoughts influence our material, physical reality. This is an ancient principle dating back thousands of years and has its roots in Hinduism and Buddhism. Most recently it was put to the test through a study that I will go into in more detail later in this article.

The actual practice of Creative Visualization involves invoking images into your mind of a conscious, desired outcome – visualizing specific things that you wish to have, accomplish, or become. It is a bit like day-dreaming.  The first step is to paint in your mind a very specific and detailed picture. What will your ideal job look like? How will your bank statements look once you’ve achieved success? What will you look like in the mirror when you reach your ideal weight? Add details, including how others will look at and react to your success, whatever area of your life it may be in – love, health, career, etc.

The second step is to use all five senses and incorporate them into your mental picture. Smell it, touch it, feel it, hear it, see it. Focus your thoughts, use your imagination and really go for it!

The third and most important step is to associate feelings to your desired outcome.  All of us have, at some point in our lives, experienced the joyful, ecstatic feeling of success, even if it was a long time ago.  Remember and capture that feeling and associate it to what you want to create now. How empowered and successful will you feel at your new job? How amazing will it feel to know that you have a lot of money in the bank? How beautiful and sexy will you feel when you’ve achieved your perfect weight?  Neville Goddard, a great spiritual leader and teacher, advices that one must “Assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled” to give our visualization the power to manifest what we want.

Napoleon Hill, author of “Think ad Grow Rich” explains the importance of attaching feeling to your Creative Visualization “Your subconscious mind recognizes and acts upon only thoughts which have been well-mixed with emotion or feeling;" and, "You will get no appreciable results until you learn to reach your subconscious mind with thoughts or spoken words which have been well emotionalized with belief."

You have the power to alter your reality and you must become conscious of that power to use it to your benefit. Creative Visualization is a powerful tool if you are willing to do the work, including:

-      Using Creative Visualization daily. Focus on the same picture and follow the steps of adding details, all five senses, and emotion to it

-      Believing in yourself and your abilities

-      Doing the work that must be done to achieve your goals

-      Exercising perseverance, willpower, concentration and discipline

Scientific Study on Creative Visualization

According to Wikipedia, the most well-known study involving Creative Visualization was done during the 1980s.This study was done using Russian Olympic athletes as test subjects. Olympic coaches and scientists set up four different training regimens for athletes:

I.    100% physical training
II.    75% physical training; 25% mental training
III.    50% physical training; 50% mental training
IV.    25% physical training; 75% mental training

The athletes in group IV showed the most improvement in actual performance, even though they performed the least physical work, while the athletes in group I performed the worst, even though they performed the most actual physical work.

What Does The Study Mean?

The Soviets concluded that mental images can act as a prelude to muscular impulses. Creative Visualization works! It is not new to the great masters of Eastern martial arts and it is now used by world-class athletes as a supplement to their physical training.

Creative Visualization is a powerful tool to make your dreams a reality. Like athletes, use it as a supplement to the actions that must be taken to achieve your goals. Success is yours for the taking!

How To Create The Life That You Deserve Now

“You are a creator; you create with your every thought. You often create by default, for you are getting what you are giving your attention to - wanted or unwanted ...”

-       Abraham Hicks

Over the past few months it has been brought to my attention that we all can literally create circumstances, feelings, and results around us based on what we think.

Think of this - how many times have you been able to do something because you were so pumped up in your head that you kept telling yourself  “I can do this, I can do this”.  Then think about this, how many times have you lost weight by telling yourself “I’m so fat”?

You see, whatever you tell yourself over and over becomes a belief and you make it happen.  If you constantly tell yourself negative things, you will keep attracting those negative things which you don’t want into your life. However, if you consciously repeat the things that you DO want in your life, you will attract them. Consciously repeating and visualizing what you want in your life can be done most effectively by harnessing the power of affirmations.

What are affirmations?

Affirmations are short, positive statements that describe a desired situation. They are repeated several times in order to impress the subconscious mind and trigger it into positive action.

 I say my affirmations 3-9 times each morning and night, and sometimes while I’m doing things around the house like cleaning and doing laundry. It is advisable that you are emotionally and physically relaxed and focused when you repeat your affirmations, so that you can actually visualize what you are affirming, instead of just saying the words.

 Affirmations must ALWAYS be in positive words. For example, if you’re trying to loose weight, don’t repeat “I am not fat”. That’s a negative statement, bringing into the mind mental images of what you do not want, and because it evokes those images to your mind (the images of you being fat) you will actually manifest what you’re focusing on – being fat. Isn’t that counterproductive?  Say instead, "I am getting slim" or "I have reached my right weight". Such words evoke positive images in the mind. Of course, affirmations must be paired with committed action. If you keep repeating “I am getting slim” while downing a couple of Big Macs, then that probably won’t work!

Another thing to remember about affirmations is that they must be in the present. “I am wealthy, healthy, and complete NOW”.  If we say “I WILL be wealthy, healthy, and complete”, the mind interprets this as happening in the distant future or maybe never. Say it in the PRESENT and see how powerful these affirmations are.

Also, don’t just say your affirmations. Think, feel, taste, smell what it will be like to get what you are affirming. Visualize it. Remember that you are a powerful creator and you can create anything you really put your mind to.

Why do Affirmations Work?

Remez Sasson says “Affirmations program the mind in the same way commands and scripts program a computer… The repeated words help you focus your mind on your aim, and automatically build corresponding mental images in the conscious mind, which affect the subconscious mind. The conscious mind, the mind you think with, starts this process, and then the subconscious mind takes charge. By using this process consciously and intently, you can affect your subconscious mind and thereby transform your habits, behavior, mental attitude and reactions, and even reshape your external life.” 

My Own Experience

I have a lot of examples of how affirmations have worked in my life, but my most recent one has to do with my IRS audit. The IRS had been auditing me for three and a half years and I was scheduled to go to Tax Court on October 15^th, 2010 for an appeal. Prior to going to Court I had a meeting scheduled with my IRS Appeals Officer. Initially, the IRS claimed I owed them over $200,000. I wrote down an affirmation that said “My audit is settled after my meeting with my Appeals Officer. I owe the IRS nothing and they owe me $10,000”. At the time I wrote that, I didn’t even know how the IRS was going to owe me. I said this affirmation over and over again over a three week period and IT WORKED! I didn’t even have to go to Court, the Appeals Officer agreed I owe the IRS nothing, and my attorney said I can recuperate my attorney fees from them!!!

If you’ve never done affirmations, you deserve to try them and see for yourself what a powerful tool they are.

Examples of Positive Affirmations

-       I am happy,  healthy, and complete

-       I have a lot of energy

-       I radiate love, success, and happiness

-       I am in the perfect love relationship with the perfect partner for me

-       Money flows into my life from expected and unexpected places

-       I am successful in everything I do

-       I have a wonderful and satisfying job

-       My mind is calm. I am at ease. All is as it should be

Scientifically Proven - How To Increase Your Happiness by 25%

"When you are grateful fear disappears and happiness appears."

- Anthony Robbins

Did you know that it is scientifically proven that gratitude can increase your happiness, health, and optimism while improving your relationships and making you optimistic about the future?

I have recently been thinking a lot about the power of gratitude. I have a gratitude board at my house and write in it things that come to mind that I’m grateful for, and it has made quite an impact on me. I tend to focus a lot more on the positive instead of dwelling on the negative. Also, I find that I am happier when I’m grateful and that my gratitude is contagious – when people come over they also write on my board!

So I decided to look up to see if there were any scientific studies out there proving that gratitude makes people happier – and I found one!  It was conducted by two doctors - Dr. Robert A. Emmons and Dr. Michael McCollough. They did the study over a period of ten weeks with several hundred people and discovered that gratitude increased people’s happiness by 25%!

They divided people into 3 groups:

-     Group One: People in this group were asked to write down five things they were grateful for that had happened in the last week for each of the 10 weeks of the study. This was called the gratitude condition. Things people reported being grateful for included things like the generosity of friends, the sunset through the clouds and the chance to be alive.

-     Group Two:  People in this group were asked to write down five daily hassles from the previous week. This was the hassles condition. Things people reported in this group included things like taxes, hard to find parking, burned my macaroni and cheese.

-     Group Three: This group was asked to simply listed five events that had occurred in the last week, but not told to focus on positive or negative aspects. This was the events or control condition.

Prior to the study people were asked to keep a daily journal and record their physical health, general attitudes and their moods. This was then used to compare their condition after the experiment.

At the end of the study, people in group one, the gratitude condition, were 25% happier – they looked forward and were optimistic about the future, exercised 1.5 more hours a week than the other two groups, and they felt better about their lives.

Was increased happiness really the result of gratitude or simply the result of positive comparisons?

After this study, the doctors decided that even though they were surprised at the results of the study, they could think of reasons of why practicing gratitude may not be so good – including that gratitude reminds us of our debts to others, which may remind us of our dependence and reduce the sense of personal control. Studies have shown that people don’t enjoy feeling indebted to others.

Hence, the doctors saw fit to do a second study. This time, however, group two was asked to write down how they were better off than others instead of writing down their hassles. They called this the downward social comparison group. People were asked to pick people who were less beautiful, healthy, wealthy, etc.  than them and record their comparisons. The idea was that in this condition people are making positive comparisons but are not necessarily thinking gratefully (although it can't be ruled out!).

 Again, group one, the gratitude group was significantly happier than the other two groups. Not just that, while group one was more likely to serve others and create deeper emotional bonds in their relationships as a result of gratitude, group two, the group that recorded how they were better off than others became a lot more narcissistic and egocentric, and was unlikely to want to serve others.

So, practicing gratitude also increases our desire to do good deeds and improves our relationships.

Gratitude and Health

The doctors decided to conduct a third study. In the first two studies they had used healthy, young college students as their subjects. They wondered if gratitude would increase happiness in people with serious, chronic health problems.

They recruited people who had neuromuscular disorders, often as a delayed result of surviving infection by the polio virus. While not life-threatening the condition can be seriously debilitating, causing joint and muscle pain as well as muscle atrophy. People with this condition have a good reason to be dissatisfied with the hand life has dealt them.

In this study, there were only two control groups. The gratitude group and the control group, where participants recoded their daily experiences.

After the 21 day study, participants in the gratitude condition were found to be more optimistic about the future, more satisfied with their lives and they were even sleeping better! 

My conclusion

I have decided that since it is scientifically proven that gratitude increases my happiness, health, and even sleep while also improving my relationships, you bet I’m gonna keep up my gratitude board! I have also decided to record at least three things that I am grateful for everyday, and when I complain I counteract my complaining by saying something that I'm grateful for.  I also got a Gratitude iBean™ and planted it to remind myself to be grateful. To find out more about iBean™, go to ibeaninspired.com

Our Inner Light

Like everyone, I have gone through some tough times in my life. One constant thing that has gotten me through them is having inspirational quotes nearby. The way I've had them nearby has varied -- in high school and college I had them all over my bedroom in the form of post-its, and as I've grown older I have associated post-its with "To Do" things, so I mostly keep them in my planner or my computer now. The effect is the same. One quote that has been a constant favorite of mine is:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
- Marianne Williamson

The reason I love this quote is because I have noticed with me and with others how hard it is for us to believe other people when they say good things about us. Many times I have told a friend "you are very good looking", "you are smart", "you're inspiring", and even "you are such a good parent". Most times I am met with a look of surprise, disbelief, and even embarrassment. This look is usually followed by something like "Oh, I don't know about that", or "I try but I'm not", and even "If you think that about me, you should meet so and so".

I know that most times if I said something negative to that same person, he/she would believe it almost instantly. "You should be a better parent", "You have a bad haircut", "You look fat", etc.

Why is it so hard to take the positive but so easy to take the negative? I'm not the exception, I can't count the times I have a hard time believing the positive things about myself. Then I realize though, that believing the good things about me is essential to becoming the best me there is. We all are, after all, divine beings. There is goodness, talent, love, compassion, joy, and light within each one of us, and the more we realize it, the more obvious those attributes become within each of us, and the more the good inside us is able to shine and touch those around us.